||[May. 8th, 2007|12:25 pm]
Dear Technical Job Candidates,|
Here are some reasons for having a three-to-seven(!) page résumé:
- You are an established, recognized expert in your field.
- You have an extensive, broad and distinguised academic record.
- Your skillset is so wide and varied that it could not possibly be explained in one page.
- You are applying for a position in academia.
- You are an idiot. You believe that greater detail about your lack of qualifications for this job will make me hire you and not immediately reject you for the mindnumblingly boring historical essay on Strostrup.
Additionally, if you list a previous job as "Foo - Microsoft Corporation - Redmond, Washington," but were there for exactly a year and list a bunch of monkey-ass tasks ("Created A Tool For Evaluating Scripts To Modifity Test Harnesses For Internal QA Applications"), I WILL FIGURE OUT YOU WERE A VOLT CONTRACTOR and immediately shred your application because you are not just an idiot, but a deceitful idiot. This is Seattle. We know how Microsoft works.
The asshole who has heard the same BS college recruiting advice as you (and doesn't buy it).